I went to the oncologist today and we had a quick catch up. The chest X-ray from the other day shows all the poor little lymphs in my lungs” full of cancer” his words not my dramatics, looks pretty Christmassy in a bizarre way. Had the usual great chat and there is life still there in those lungs for a while.
This introduces my reflection topic. I am aware that my approach to my death, some of the comments I may make, and the interactions I am having are seen by some as a little unusual. What I hope is that we reflect on my motives which are all grounded I think in common sense. At the end of the day it is as simple as I want a magnificent end for myself and my family in their participation in that inevitability. I want Elizabeth’s and Mitchell’s future to be the best it can be as quickly after I die as possible. Maybe we are pioneering a bit and I hope others test their views against what we are doing rather than judge am I doing death in the right way. For me and my family I am. I also have become caught up in social and legal change in a far bigger way than I ever expected. Again this is now very personal and important. I don’t want to have such important opportunities, giving me such comfort, simply because I found a way to go through a special door. This door has to be one all Australians in circumstances of terminal illness and/or intolerable suffering have the keys to. May sound glib but it is now a marrow depth conviction.
Finally life should be about fun and a reason till the very very end. When all the benchmarks one measures normal life by changes then surely the rules are all up for challenge, reinvention and rewriting if appropriate.
Point of this is to touch a few nerves and hopefully move all of us on even further down this unusual shared story. If it was a rabbit burrow there would not be enough room for Alice, unless she was a Prime Minister!
Pain 0/10 Mental Health 10/10 Physical Health 7.5/10 Life Enjoyment 10/10